I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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