mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
