Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my sisters under your porch take her home
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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