I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
