in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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