4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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