remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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