Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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