Porn is love you can see.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
