all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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