hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
