The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
