You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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