The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
