Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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