So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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