don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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