god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
A+ Viking dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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