i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i came on her dog
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
