I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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