Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
