Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
