hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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