I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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