defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
