I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's paint friendship bongs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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