If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
