There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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