Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
