im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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