Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
