There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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