if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
