Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You need Xanax blowdarts
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
