I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Liz is crying about burritos again.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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