I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
