the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
