I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Enjoy the penises
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
