We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
