You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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