I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
