Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
