wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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