it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
