Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
