don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
