We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
