There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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