Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
