I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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