Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
