I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
